Cancel Culture to Conversation Culture

Hey friend, welcome back to Kyle Talks. I’m genuinely glad you’re here, showing up and sharing this space with me.

This episode? A good one. Hopefully it gave you a fresh take, challenged a perspective, or just made you feel seen. If it did, I’d love to hear from you or better yet, send it to someone who’d vibe with the convo too. Every share and message means more than you know, and it’s how this show keeps growing thank you for being part of that.

Got a thought, question, or something that stuck with you from today? Let’s keep the conversation going. You can always reach me on socials @KyleTHEHorton—I’m always down for a good chat.

And just in case no one’s said it lately: You matter. You’re doing better than you think. If you ever need a reset or a little push, this space will always be here for you.

Thanks for listening. I’ll catch you in the next one.

Links:

Disagreements Are Healthy

How To Accept Diff Opinions

Empathy As A Skill

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Welcome back to Kyle Talks, where I'm Kyle and we talk. Yo, yo, yo, what it doobie doobie do in these streets? How's it going on my boys and girls? How it doobie do? Go do doobie do. Go doobie. What is going on on my beautiful people? Happy Saturday. Man, just stop for a second. Smell. Breathing. I let go. Man, it's a good day. It is a good day, and we're going to be talking about it today. I am so happy to be here with you guys. First things first, e-begging. If this is your first time at the Call Talk Studio in sunny Los Angeles, California, come on in. We got LaCroix and White Claw on tap. What you like? I like Pamplemousse and Limoncello, but what do you like? We got it. We got it. If this is your millionth time at the studio, welcome back in. You already know where to go. You know your way around. Thank you so much for being and being a part of Kyle Talks. This is the podcast where if you don't agree with someone, you still have great conversations. We hear stories from people, from ordinary people doing extraordinary things. And even if you disagree with every little thing this person says, you have a conversation. In fact, you might go, they might be playing, their band might be playing next week on Friday and you just might go to it, even though you disagree on everything. That's the community we are building, not we're trying, that we are building, have built, and are expanding here at Kyle Talks. That is what we're doing. So if this is your first time here, thank you for being a part of that. I appreciate it. To help us have more conversations, to build this great community where we can have conversations with people who don't look the same, both the same, believe the same, pray the same, choose the same, eat the same, cook the same. If you want to help support this mission, Please leave a review wherever you're listening to this. We are the fastest growing podcast on Spotify. Leave a review on Spotify and you will help us grow single handedly. Those reviews really mean a lot. So thank you guys. If you want to contribute to this mission, keep us growing. Go ahead and do that before we get started. But I'm excited to be here with you guys today. I'm excited to be here and we have so much to talk about. But you know what I like to do before we jump into our topic today? I like to yap. I'm a yap guy. That's a staple of the Kyle Talks podcast is yapping. We're getting into the episode. You guys know what's up. But yeah, I'm going to keep it short because I don't have any real updates. God is good. We are doing great things. As you guys may know, if you've listened to in the past, we were laid off. Shout out to Trump and RFK. We were laid off because of them. But we're looking forward. We're still applying. We're doing interviews. We're doing great things. And it's been good. God has provided, and I'm appreciative. And on the other hand, you guys are doing great with this podcast. Obviously, I don't say this as a diss to myself or the community. We're not huge. You know what I mean? Like Joe Rogan and a few other SWAT podcasters out there. Not yet, at least. But one day we will get there. I firmly believe that. Our mission is too crucial. It's too important. There's too many great conversations to be had for us not to get there, so I know we will. In the meantime, you guys have been sharing the podcast, reaching out to me, DMing me, resharing it on Instagram or X, and I've been resharing those. If you want to check those out, go to Kyle V. Horton on Instagram or X. I'm feeling appreciative. We hear stories about people who are like, man, I disagree with you, Kyle, but you actually, you're onto something or I look forward to these episodes, Kyle, every week. I look forward to it, whether you're going to work or whatever, like it's just to hear that one time from one person, you know, is enough, but you're hearing it from multiple people, you know? So it's like one is more than enough. It's like, we're making an impact at least on one person's life and who knows that will go, but we're doing it multiple now. So I am beyond grateful. Thank you guys for the love on the podcast. And thank you guys for us keeping going. Um, Shout out to unofficial producer Rio. Without Rio, I couldn't do this podcast. He is my right-hand man. We get on the phone all the time. He listens to me talk all the time about this. I couldn't be more appreciative. Thank you, Rio. Shout out. Love you. I couldn't do this without my wife. My wife is literally my rock. It generally can't happen without an amazing wife. Shout out to my wife. I love you more than anything. Might be an episode with her because she's a licensed therapist coming up in the next, but Yeah, I'm just beyond grateful for the love and for what we're building. We have the best community in the world and we're just expanding it now. That's all we're doing. We're not trying to get there. We are already there. We just got to show more people. That's it. We got to get more people involved in the community. So I am beyond grateful. Yeah, thank you. With that in mind, we are a podcast about communication. Talking with others, having that connection, whether you do everything the same or everything completely different. This podcast is all about communication and how to talk. So with that in mind, I would be a sham, a charlatan, a scam artist if I didn't have something in my podcast where it gives us an opportunity to have a conversation. Enter in our boss segment before opening show. So every episode... If you're new here, before every episode, we jump into our boss, BOSS question, and it's just an opportunity for us to have a conversation. It could be about anything. I just broke up. I'm looking for a new job. I can't decide if I want to go here or go there. It's just a place for homies to have questions and for us to talk to each other. That's it. If you'd like to send in your question to Be featured on a Boss segment. Go ahead and send it in to kyletalkspodcast at gmail.com. I really look forward to coming in. And today's question, before we jump into the episode, is a good one. So here it is. And again, preface, if you would like your question sent in to be asked, go ahead and send it to kyletalkspodcast at gmail.com. Put Boss, B-O-S-S in the subject line. Today's one's short and sweet, so let's jump into it. Hey, Kyle. Hey, unofficial producer, real. My question is short today. How do you stay grounded? Everything's really fast, especially in our age group. I am 29 a shout out. I'm 28. I'll be there soon. And I feel like with getting into life and having a family and really get into my career. The world's kind of being going a super fast. And I'm just curious, do you do anything specifically like with your mindset, whatever? I know you've mentioned you've listened to music and I know that you're a Christian. I am not, but I'm not hostile to that. And I was just curious, is it a mix of songs, religion, that keep you grounded, or what is it? Because that's something I'm looking at for my time in my life. Hey, thanks for sending that in. That's a really good question. Yeah, you kind of answered it. So how, like I said, I'm 28 years old, 28 years young. I don't even know what I don't know yet. There's so much in the world for me to experience, to see, to live through. Now, I have lived through... a share of things. Shout out COVID. I have lived through things, but not everything. So I don't know. I say that to say I don't have the answers to everything. I don't know everything. So these questions, they're not meant to like, I'm going to get an answer. We're just homies talking. That's all this is. Keep that in mind. So to answer your question, you kept your short and sweet. I'm going to keep mine short and sweet. Religion really helps me view something bigger than myself and For those who have listened to the guests and listened to the podcast, you know that's a staple. It doesn't have to be Christianity. And you see that it's not Christianity in these conversations that I've had with ordinary people doing extraordinary things. But you notice there needs to be something that's bigger than yourself that you subscribe to. That is a very common theme in all conversations of people doing great things. And it just continues. It doesn't have to be Christianity. I would pray for you and hope that it is because I am a Christian. I'm not trying to force my faith down your throat or anything like that. You can be Christian or non-Christian and still be a part of this community. But like I said, I'm going to reiterate it because it's important. Everyone who has a genuine goal and they're chasing it has something in their mind that That's bigger than themselves, that they're going for. So for me, exactly, that's Jesus. And knowing that Jesus is God, and I'm a sinner, but God's like, you know what? This Kyle guy, he's made some mistakes, but I can still use him to do good things. That's what's great to me, because I'm not the author and finisher of my life or faith. I am to a degree, but I am small and infinitesimal compared to the Almighty God. He authors, the author and finisher of everything. And I just get to play a part in it. He is the big picture. I am the little tiny ink splot. He says, you know what? I'll use him. Why not? Thank you, Lord, for using me. Even though I'm a human, I poop, pee, throw up. You get what I'm trying to say here. And the almighty creator says, I want to use you. So that's how I stay grounded. Hopefully, I do like songs too. Like I do listen to a lot of, I listen to rap songs sometimes. A lot more when I played football, but when I work out a lot, I just can't. Everyone's friends is just trying to bench like 450. I can't do it. We're all friends. We love you. I can't do it. I'm sorry. I have to be listening to something hard. That's what I have to do when I work out. But yeah, I would say for me, it's religion and Christianity and the belief of Jesus, specifically him being God. He died or rose three days later. But if you've listened to these episodes, you know that not everyone subscribes to the Christian faith that I've had on the podcast. And on top of that, you need to have something bigger than yourself to stay grounded. So my friend, for me, it's religion, but you need to have something bigger than yourself. If the world revolved around you, it would be boring. Not good. Hopefully that was good. Again, if you'd like your questions sent in, go ahead and send them to kyletalkspodcast at gmail.com. And let's jump into today's episode. It's a good one, and it's one we need to hear. So you've seen the title already already. You know what this is about. I have notes here. All the links to the statistics I'll be sharing are in the description. But we have to learn to move on from cancel culture to having a conversation. We have to learn to have to have the conversation. You don't know how to talk to people. I don't know how to talk to people. But let's learn together. We need to have conversations. It is important now more than ever to have good, respectful conversations, even with people that disagree with you. We need to have a conversation culture. And that's what we're building here at the podcast. And we already have it here at the podcast. We just have to invite more of you into it. That's all we're doing. And so why this is matter. There's tension. We all have tension. I have tension with maybe some friends that don't believe the same or think the same. Coworkers, especially family. And of course, friends. Everyone that listens to this podcast and I really connect with, they're between 20 and 29. I fall there, too. We're young adults. We're coming into this world. Especially with online, you know, social media stuff, whatever. Like, it's true. You're going to hear so... Some of it's bait. Some of it's, like, not real. They just want to say whatever to say whatever. And we know that, right? Like, we know that. We can sense that. We can sense bait where it is. There's so many ideas that... And stuff that might make us mad. And some of us end up in these loopholes. Whether it be politics, religion, whatever. It doesn't matter whatever it is. We get sucked up into it. And we say, oh, they say this. I hate that. You're a terrible person. Now, if they're saying stuff like I'm going to kill you or something, that's different. But if they're just expressing an opinion, keep that in mind, an opinion that's different than yours, let's calm down. Track yourself. See where you're at. Because your response is more evident of you. I believe this firmly, and I'm going to say this. Your response to people that don't agree with you is more of a reflection of yourself than what the person said. I fully believe that. And jumping into just to share a few articles, why this is important, why we need to have conversations. Young adults, age 20 to 29... have struggled with conversations in general, but conversation anxiety, polarization, what we talked about being passive aggressive and not being able to adequately speak on what they believe or why they believe or have nuanced conversations with people who may not agree with them. Again, this is from the Pew Research. This is linked in the show notes if you want to check it out. In 2023, Pew Research found that 74% of adults under 30, I would fall under that. Most of you who listen to this podcast would fall under that. Field conversations about politics, identity, etc. are harder now than they were five years ago. And I found that interesting because... I always tell Rio this. You can ask Rio. You can ask my friends who I associate with closely. Shout out Dave. I've had lots of conversations with Dave about this. I feel like when we were kids, politics weren't this divisive. I'm talking specifically about politics for this example, right? I remember as a kid, who cared? I didn't really hear the adults talk about it too much. The only time I ever heard an adult talk about politics was like when Obama was elected. And I don't remember if it was good or bad. I just remember there was a lot of conversation. This was 2008, so I was 10, 11. And I remember hearing some stuff, but I don't remember if it was good or bad, but I do remember hearing about it. And that is, yeah. So, and again, another stat I like to share. And when I was in high school, this was right before the 2016 election. So this was like 2015. I remember we're going over presidential debates in my US world history. And dude, we have lost it. We have lost it. There was there was a debate between Obama and Mitt Romney or something like that. Or it was sometime in the 2000s. It was Obama and someone else. I can't remember. But they were so respectful in this conversation. They said, hey, I may not agree with this person, but I see what they want to do. I don't think that will be effective for X, Y, Z reasons. But I don't think they wanted to destroy America. It was so respectful, it almost felt criminal in today's age, comparatively. And you look at today, I'm going to lock you in jail. This country is a poop hole. This is terrible. I'm going to put you... It's become so emotional. You can't even have a conversation. Our leaders, and I'm speaking to us in America, and world leaders, it doesn't matter who, where you are at, quite frankly, our leaders... don't know how to have conversations without being emotional. So why do you think that the people that follow them are gonna be able to have emotional conversations, not have emotional conversations? Well, that's what we freaking do at Kyle Talks. That's why it's important because leaders can't have good conversations and we're gonna change that. That's why this is important. And there's some things we get wrong about these conversations. That I've noticed with people that I like, for example, I'll put myself out there. One of the things I used to go and I've shared this before, but I went back and forth with BLM for so long when George Floyd first passed away unjustly, like he did not need to pass away. I believe that firmly. I was like, of course I support BLM. Like I am a half black individual. I'm also half white. And I was like, of course I support them. Black lives do matter. Like, this is insane that we even have to say that. Or it's insane that this group existed. And then things came out. I went to not supporting them, to supporting them, to not supporting them, to supporting them. And then something came out where the leader, don't know her name, she's buying million dollar houses in white neighborhoods. I don't care what neighborhood it's in, but it's just kind of ironic that someone, the leader of BLM is buying million dollars worth of homes in paying her family 100K a year plus to be security, quote unquote. And where'd that money come from? Donations of genuine people. I don't support them. They also believe in not having strong father or mother figures in the home. They don't believe in that. I don't believe in that whatsoever. I think that's ludicrous, and I think the statistics back that up. I am firmly against, as a black American, I am firmly against this. be alum now, and that may change in the future. But I say that as a backdrop. So when I've had conversations with that about people, I never am accusing, judging. I've had great conversations, great conversations. A lot of common mistakes I see online, people who are having these conversations. One, it gets so emotional. Understandably so, because there's a lot of things that go into it. There's a lot of things that go into where you may stand. And unfortunately, if you heard nothing else hear this, your who you choose, whatever politics, religion, you pick the medium doesn't matter. Those decisions are not you, you are bigger than politics, you like that may sound contradictory, because I just said, find something that's bigger than yourself. But you as a whole are not one thing, if that makes sense, like politics, for example. I will stand by this, and I say this with my chest. If your whole personality is politics, you are boring, and I probably don't want to have a conversation with you. And I mean that respectfully. I genuinely believe that. I'll say that again. If your entire personality is politics, you're boring, you have no original thought, and I don't want to have a conversation with you. Probably. I probably don't. Well, who knows? I probably don't want to have a conversation with you. This is what I mean. You are not your, like, well, I believe in whatever it is. That's not, I believe in this political agenda, whatever it may be, right or left, doesn't matter. You are not that. You are not them. That is not, that ideology is not your entire, entire personage. That's insane. And it, and it happens a lot with, um, Politics, unfortunately. It's just, I know this is kind of floated around that. It has happened a lot with politics, unfortunately. So, becoming emotional and taking these attacks personal. We need to attack the idea, not the person. Because we don't like the idea. Another thing is disagreements turning into debates. Brother, we have all seen this. We have seen this all the time. Another very common thing. What we're doing wrong about discussions is turning disagreements into baits. For example, and I'm speaking from experience, I shared my BLM position, where I stand, how I went through that. Oh, well, what about this? Blah, blah. What about this? Blah, blah, blah. Okay, I am not here to have a debate with you. There's a time and a place for that. Whatever you believe. I don't care what you believe. Literally, I don't care. whatever you believe in. If you're not in a debate setting or you're not open to that or that's not like what you need to have, that conversation, there is a time and place for everything. I truly believe that. And just because you're not willing to debate something right there on the spot doesn't mean you don't firmly believe it. Maybe you need to come back and readdress what you're looking at. Why do I believe certain things that I do? When it comes to religion, why do I believe Jesus is God? I got to be ready to give that. Maybe I'm not ready to have a whole debate about it. Like, There's a time and place, and there's this delusion that you need to have a debate with someone every time they disagree with you. Brother in Christ, sister in Christ, no, you do not. No, you do not. I'm going to leave that there. And then lastly, and this is, I think, the biggest thing we get wrong about having conversations. Well, the second biggest thing. The first is emotional. The second biggest thing is we just avoid having conversations. And that is what's so sad. Avoiding having hard conversations has led us to where we're at today. Because whether, like I said, it doesn't matter the medium you pick, but not having us have hard conversations is, yeah, that's why we're here. We're not willing to sit down across and look someone in the eye and in the eyes who disagrees with us and have a just a regular conversation whether it's a debate or you're just having a friendly conversation you can have friendly conversation disagree by the way those aren't that's not oxymoronic we just avoid it that's a huge mistake what happens when we can't talk to each other humans are social creatures we talk to each other we take joy in being in social some take more joy being an echo chamber and that's unfortunate But we need to have those conversations. We need to have hard conversations. Some people think, oh, we have to have a hard conversation every second. No, because not every disagreement needs to be a debate. No, you don't have to have hard conversations every second of every day. No, I like where you're going. You have the right idea, but you're just executing it big wrong. No, there's a time and place to have hard conversations. It shouldn't be every conversation, but have them. It's healthy to It's extremely healthy. And what happens when we talk to each other? We talk to each other's understanding. What happens when we talk to when we have those hard talks and don't turn it into a debate? Oh, I may disagree with you, but I genuinely understand where you're coming from. You have the hard conversations. You don't turn to wait in three. You're listening to understand. You're not like, oh, I can't wait till they stop yapping so I can just come at them with these hard, stone cold, the stone cold reply. I can't wait until they're done talking. Brother, what have they said? You don't even know what they believe in. You're making something up in your head because social media has done little gotchas and like two sentence statements. So you think that you already know their entire position because you've generalized them. And this whole time they're talking, you're thinking about, oh, I can't wait to shove this in their face. You're not going to change their mind. You're not even have a conversation. You have no idea what they believe or why. You have zero, no clue. You can lie to yourself and say you do. That's fine if you want to do that and lie to yourself. But you know that you don't really understand. Oh, yeah, I understand the general things, maybe. That's been told to me on social media in little gotcha moments. But I don't understand. We need to listen to understand. Now, just to be square, these are very things that I've noticed that we're getting wrong about conversations. How do we get conversations right? What does it look like in a conversation right? One, we have those hard discussions. That's getting conversations right. It doesn't have to be every time. Two, we don't turn disagreements into debates. That's what we get right about conversations. Oh, I disagree with you. This isn't a debate, so I'm not going to hard-press you about these beliefs or whatever, whether you may be wrong or right in my eyes or whatever. This isn't a debate. This is not the right time for that. And I'm going to check myself emotionally and say, you're your own person with your own experiences, sure. What's the one thing we can do to get conversations right? The golden rule of conversations, you listen to understand. You're not waiting for them to finish yapping. To come at, oh, boom, I just hit him with this big thing. Disagreements are healthy. We don't need to make them toxic. That's what we can do right. We can have those hard conversations. We don't have to turn every little thing into a debate. And we have to understand. You may disagree, and that's fine. No one's saying you have to agree. I'm not saying that. And people who are thinking should not tell you you need to agree. Even if you understand, it doesn't mean you have to agree. But now you understand. For example, one of my best friends in the whole wide world, he's a great man. I remember when we just met, he said he hates cops. To him, all cops were bastards. And while I disagree with that, because obviously I've had family members and close friends who have served, I heard his experience. He saw family members get killed in front of him from cops. All he sees on social media was cops shooting people. Cops doing crazy things. Can I blame him? I may disagree, but can I blame him if I have that experience? No, I cannot blame him. No. And surprise, I love this man to this day. I love that man. He's a good man. A good man. A good heart and a good man. So I'm not saying like I'm the golden poster child. I'm definitely not. I want to make that clear. I am not. This is just for me as it is for you because I get caught up. I'm also in my 20s. I get caught up in these same things. But we have to not get caught up in them together. We have to disagree with others and not make it this weird old thing. Because I know from personal experience, it's possible. It's possible. There are things we're doing wrong. That's how we can do them right. There are multiple... programs they're going and it's sad and it's sad there's it's sad but it's needed that there's multiple programs um that are trying to like teach gen zers how to talk to people how to have conversations we know what to do right and there's programs out there again they're doing good thing they're teaching college students how to hear how how to tolerate different opinions, how to have those conversations. So Teen Vogue has a program called Bridging the Gap. The link is in the show notes. The UK, there's multiple, multiple, multiple programs in the UK that are teaching conversation skills and empathy specifically to Gen Zers. That's a Guardian article down in the show notes below. You can read more about it. And these are just two programs that I picked because I love what they're doing. There's a sea of programs out there, but we have programs that are specifically being aimed towards the Gen Z, me, you, the vast majority of people who listen to this podcast, about how to have conversations. Now let's think about why are these being introduced? Because we're getting conversations wrong. We're making them intubate. We're listening to respond, not listening to understand. And we're avoiding hard conversations. I can't wait until they're done talking so I can say this. You're not having a conversation. You're going to turn that person off completely. Maybe you'll never change their mind, but maybe they'll understand. Maybe you can understand. We're doing things wrong and bridging the gap program. Multiple programs in the UK are doing what's right. Here's how we can change this. Here's how it should be different. If you want to learn more about those programs, they're in the show notes below. But again, I will continue this and saying like I have personally experienced like that with that with my friend who I mentioned who shared his opinion about cops. And of course, I was like, whoa, I disagree. But look at that. We are amazing friends today. I will love that man until I see him in heaven. And then for eternity after I will be rooting for him. We sit down, we text each other sometimes, ask if I could pray for him. I don't know where those beliefs lie today, but I know that was the start of our relationship. That's how it started. And he may not even know this. He may not even know that I had these thoughts. He might not never know. But look at us five to seven years later, you know, from that initial point. And we're disconnected. This is what the Kyle Talks podcast is about. This is why we want to get conversations right. This is why we need to stop with the cancel culture stuff and continue with the conversation stuff. So how do you have that conversation? I've heard what we're doing wrong. I hear what we're doing right. I hear there's multiple programs teaching us Gen Zers specifically to have a conversation. I say us. I'm there with you, too. I'm right there with you. What can we do? We can start with respect. There's so much disrespect going on in today's conversation environment. It's disgusting. And we've shared that multiple times throughout this podcast. Multiple times. Better Up, linked in the show notes, amazing article. But they have tips. They're used by these groups who teach us how to have a conversation. This is how you can actually get a better response. These are some tools and some phrases that you can use to get a better position on what you believe in. I just noticed my fan was on the whole time, so hopefully it didn't bother too much. But a whole website discussing tools on how to set up the conversation to be respectful, to have an eloquent conversation. One of those tools... And of course, you want to change it over time, something that fits like what you'd say, because you don't want to copy your word for word because then it's not authentic. It doesn't feel real. And I love this. And this is linked in the show notes below. If you want to check this out for yourself. Beginning conversations with affirmation. Hey, I respect you. Hey, I may disagree with you, but I want to understand your point of view. How did you get there? Why? For my friend, hey, I respect you greatly. Why do you think all cops are bastards? How did you get there? I want to understand. I might have a visceral, emotional, whatever. At that time, I might have that. But why do you think that? How did you get there? Why did you get there? Why is that your belief today? And that will completely change the conversation by just saying I respect you. And I want to, even if you don't respect them, you don't even need to say that. You said, I may disagree. You can say something like, I, I disagree. If you want to add strongly disagree, sure. Flavor it up. I strongly disagree with your point of view, but I also want to understand it. How did you get there? Whoa. We did all three feet, all three things in that conversation. We're having fun. In that statement, we've done three things to get a conversation right. We're having that hard conversation. We're not turning it into a debate because I just want to understand how you got there. And I'm listening to understand. I'm listening to understand because you said that. And I could come back at you with all these stats on why maybe that's stupid, whatever. But I'm not understanding you. Why do you get there? You just, with that one statement, you did three things that will set you up for success. Wow. Isn't that crazy? And we have to listen like it's our job. I know we've talked about this before. But we have to listen. Oh, you believe? Oh, you saw your uncle. You've seen family members be killed in front of cops. Is that right? Is that how you got there? Yeah, that is right. That's how I got there. Whoa. Now you're getting trust. Because why? You're listening to understand. And the other person is like, whoa, he's actually listening to me. He may disagree with me, but he's listening to me. He's not saying, well, that's stupid. You're stupid. Well, you actually get it. I get it, right? So you believe that because you've seen family members get hurt. Yes. Okay. That makes sense. That makes sense. You're listening. You're understanding. Again, I'm going to rephrase this. How do you come to that point of view? You don't even have to say I respect them. I disagree with your point of view strongly if you want to get saucy with it. I disagree. How do you believe that? How did you get there? Like what experiences has led you to that? Whoa, now you're understanding. Now we're having a conversation. You're stupid. That's stupid. You're ignorant. You're not having a conversation. You won't even be heard if you start with that. And then what we've always talked about, hearing that. Yeah, I hear you. Oh, you did that because you've seen family members shot and hurt from police officers. Yeah, I hear that. That actually makes sense. I understand that. And then you can go into the further in the conversation. Well, I understand your point of view. Where I come from, I see it differently because X, Y, Z. Where I see it like this, X, Y, Z. I understand what you're saying. If I want to properly show what I believe, I think it's because of this experience. XYZ. Whatever it is. Whoa. Now we're having conversation. Now it's respectful. We're listening to understand. And we're having that hard conversation. That's how we get conversations right. Whoa. Whoa. You see the difference there. Can you hear the difference in just those words? Few statements. You're doing so many good things with those few statements. I'll share one more personal story about a hard conversation where I was, but I was taught a good lesson. And it's with the framework that we were discussing earlier. And that conversation was having with someone I disagreed with theologically. We disagreed on an aspect of it. And I remember it was over the phone. I was driving. Me and this person are having a conversation. And me and this person say, hey, I believe in this. The subject doesn't matter as much. But keeping this framework in mind, I want to give you an example. I believe that this is okay. I think this is why. And this is one of my best friends to this day. I love this person with all my heart. Oh, OK, like I may disagree with you, but I want to keep this relationship and friendship intact. I disagree with you because of this. I understand where you're coming from. That makes sense because that's how you view it. And that's logical. And I don't think you're making any leaps. I think I can see how you get there. I just have to disagree. And this is how I see it. With that in mind, I still want to be your friend. And although we disagree on this topic, on this specific topic, we're still friends. I know that was very vague, but the language is still we listen to understand. He listened to understand me. I listen to understand him. We talked about where we're at and we had that hard conversation and we understood each other. It wasn't a debate. You're stupid for believing this or I can't believe you believe this, whatever. Like it was nothing like that. We understood where we're coming from. We listened. We had that. It was a hard conversation. It was not easy. I'll tell you that. We had that conversation. And to this day, we're still friends. We may disagree, which is fine. Disagreement is healthy. We disagree, but we're still that that relationship is intact. Even amid a disagreement, we still love each other. I care about this person more than anything. And we still have those conversations. This was, I'm 28 now, I was maybe 24, 25 when this conversation was had. The point is, the Gen Zers, we're young adults coming into our adult years. We can have more nuanced conversations. We can do it. Our leaders can't even do that. Our leaders need to listen to this podcast because we're already, we're having those better tailored conversations where we disagree, but we have good conversation with each other. That's what we need to be doing. That's what we're doing. And I'm inviting you to do that with me. So what I want you to do, this is new. And I want to talk about this, but I also want to give us tools for this week. And the tools is, you've been doing conversation wrong your whole life. Here's how you do it right. How do you do it right? One, have the hard conversations. Doesn't need to happen every time. There's a time and place for everything. Have those hard conversations. Two, how do you have a right conversation? Don't turn it into a debate. Not everything has to be a debate. There's a time and place for everything. Because your emotions will get the best of you. You control your emotions. You have a master of your emotions. You tell them what to do. They don't tell you what to do. Don't turn it into a debate. And three, listen to understand. Today, this week, I want you to go up to someone who you know you disagree with and ask them how they got there. I want you to do that. And I want you to not listen to respond. Oh, I cannot wait to give them these stats. Understand what I may strongly. I strongly disagree with that. But how did you get there? Oh, that makes sense. I see. I disagree. I see, though. I may disagree, but I at least I see. Now you're one. You understand you've created that connection. It's not hostile. And really, the secret tool about that is to now you're becoming more dangerous. Oh, I understand that. You're understanding more. Is that conflict with my view or does that actually support my view? You don't need to say that in that conversation. That's something you go over in your head down the road after the conversation. Oh, they said this. Oh, okay. Does that help my view or destroy it and think about what they said? That's why I want you to do those three things. Have the hard conversations. Don't make it into a debate and listen to understand. I want you to do those things this week. Because we are different. We are different at the Kyle Talks. And Gen Zers, we are going to have better, more healthy conversation. So in a world that is so obsessed with being heard, in a world that's so obsessed with making everything a debate, in a world that's so obsessed that they don't want to understand, they just want to speak, be the one who knows how to listen. Be the one who knows how to have a conversation. Be the one who doesn't turn it into a debate. Be that one. And you'll see doors will open like crazy for better conversations. That was just what's on my heart. I really want to talk about that because I think now more than ever, it's very important for what we're talking about. And I hope that you've enjoyed if you've made it to this far. You've learned anything of value. Please let me know. Thank you so much for taking time to tune into this podcast. I want us to be a better. I want us to be better. I want my generation. One day we're going to be presidents. One day we're going to lead the country. One day Zoomers will lead the country. And I want us to be able to have nuanced conversations. And you know what? I may disagree, but here. Oh my gosh. When we start serving in political positions of power. and we start talking like that, we are gonna change the world. You can change your life. You can change the world right now with those tools. Thank you guys so much. If you enjoyed anything from this episode, please go ahead and give it a review. Help us be the fastest growing podcast ever across all platforms. Leave a review. Help us grow and help us have more conversations with others. It doesn't have to be with Zoomers. It helps us have conversation with boomers, millennials, so we can all start having better conversations. Share the podcast. Tag at Calvin Horton on Instagram or X. Thank you guys so much for your love. Share, leave a review. And remember, one man died on the For you, for you, for you specifically, because he loves you more than you can ever know. And he wants to give you the best tools to succeed. Thank you guys so much. Now guys, talk to you guys next week. Peace.